“Mom, I don't wear pink”
“Gender segregation is developed by society and imposed on children with secret messages. As parents, we need to be aware of this and raise our children without prejudice, Ped says Pedagogue Sevil Gümüş. With our two-week series on sexual roles, we believe that we can help parents develop healthy identities.
Have you ever wondered why the boy, whose mother bought a pink sweater, reacted to his mother: ”Mother, I don't wear pink?? Why does it say boys, not girls, Pink girl color, So who decided that pink is the girl's color, There is a rule that men can not wear pink, Who put this rule? as many questions as you might have in mind.
Agog According to the well-known philosopher John Locke, the human mind is like an empty signboard, and it is filled by the environment after it is born. In other words, he argues that children are socially zero from nature and develop consciousness (concepts) with what they take from the environment. In this case, sexual role distinctions in children are also developed by the society. ”
So how does this develop? Sevil Gümüş answers the question: “Man is a social entity and constantly interacts with his environment. The child grows in interaction with his environment and his behavior is shaped by the reaction of his environment. The first adult around is her mother. He learns the truth and the wrong with his mother's reaction. His mother names him what he did and felt by holding a mirror. He learns everything through his eyes. Then it perceives the world with the reactions of the adults around it and tries to give meaning to what is happening around it. In order to do this, the child carefully examines the behavior, approaches and objects of the adults around him. It immediately receives confidential messages as a whole. The roles of men and women are also given by the environment with these messages. So when the child is born, he is not aware of this distinction. Through his experiences, adult attitudes and secret and clear messages, he erkek learns what is male and what is female işi.
The simplest example of the distinction between boys and girls in children is that a boy says “I don't wear a pink boy”. We said that the reason why pink is accepted as a girl color by children is clear and secret messages that define the roles of girls and boys given by the society. How does the child receive these messages? Sevil Gümüş explains: “The boy receives the message that pink is the girl's color as follows:
- first realizes that everything is pink for girls;
- the fairy-tale hero in his books sees girls picking pink;
- when she picked something pink, her mother said, mıs Are you a girl! choose another color çocuk the child cannot fulfill this request;
- when the child wears something pink; This time, his friend ”aaa pink dressed,” he starts to laugh (to make fun of) as he begins to feel ashamed for choosing this color.
Thus, the child learns that pink is the girl's color with the messages and experiences he receives and he never wants to choose anything in pink again. And when her mother finally gets something pink, she says, ”Mom, I don't wear pink, çünkü because if she wears a pink sweater, she's afraid that everyone will see her as a girl.
Not pink but blue could be developed by society as a girl's color. A boy's wearing pink doesn't mean he's a girl or acting like a girl. This is a simple color choice and the child's eye taste is determined by the messages given by us. However, if such messages are not given, the child will want to wear something in pink like other colors without hesitation and will not be ashamed to choose this color. These and similar prejudices, stereotypes, male and female roles are defined by the environment and imposed on the child with these messages. Such secret messages can be reproduced;
- girls play with dolls, boys play with cars,
- The girl helps the mother, the boy does not do housework,
- Girls don't understand math, boys are very good at math.
- Girls cry when they're upset, but boys don't.
Differences, stereotypes, prejudices, and definitions of the roles of boys and girls, other than the biological differences of children, are developed by the society and imposed on children as exact truths. We must realize that these truths are developed by the society, that is, by us, and we must first get rid of our own prejudices. We respect the choices of our children and allow them to realize themselves. Our approach to this awareness will help the child develop a healthy sexual identity and help him / her to perceive the roles of girls and boys in a healthy way. ”